


Good Girlfriends Are Like Good Bras

by byrdistheword91



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, I'm Serious, Wayhaught-induced diabeetus, Weird dreams, bras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byrdistheword91/pseuds/byrdistheword91
Summary: Stranded on the roof of the Homestead fending off an invisible army of strange two-legged creatures with massive gaping maws wasn’t exactly how Nicole wanted to go, and the WynDoc bitching that she was forced to listen to was not making her possible impending death any more attractive.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Doc Holliday, Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught
Comments: 12
Kudos: 113





	Good Girlfriends Are Like Good Bras

**Author's Note:**

> A little crack-fic inspired by this tweet: https://twitter.com/byrdistheword25/status/1261704803316641794

** Good Girlfriends Are Like Good Bras **

“Dammit, there’s too many of them!”

“Do not succumb to hopelessness, we may yet triumph today!”

“SCREW YOUR TRIUMPH, WE NEED FUCKING BULLETS!!!”

“WILL YOU TWO STOP BITCHING AND GET BACK TO WORK?!” Nicole shouted at Wynonna and Doc in frustration as she took aim and fired another projectile, revealing a few more creatures as it flew through the crowd.

Stranded on the roof of the Homestead fending off an invisible army of strange two-legged creatures with massive gaping maws wasn’t exactly how Nicole wanted to go, and the WynDoc bitching that she was forced to listen to was not making her possible impending death any more attractive. She glanced at Waverly, strong beautiful Waverly, skillfully mowing down the newly-revealed creatures with her shotgun. Nicole thought of all the things left unsaid, all the interrupted moments that had passed them by.

The simple yet elegant ring locked in her gun safe, eternally waiting for Nicole to finally decide that the time had come…

Nicole shook the dark thoughts off as best she could and squared her shoulders. She wasn’t dying here!

She grabbed another bra off of the pile they’d gathered onto the roof and slingshotted it into the invisible crowd that was relentlessly beating on the walls of the house, trying to bring it down from underneath the gang. Nicole couldn’t really remember how they’d discovered that contact with a bra would reveal the carnivorous creatures, or really how they’d ended up on the roof fighting them off with bras collected from the Homestead dressers. The day felt like a complete blur. One second, she was investigating a strange call about a disembodied corpse on the outskirts of Purgatory, and the next thing she knew, she was speeding through the streets in her cruiser, headed for the Homestead to help the others. There she’d found the Earps and Doc scrambling onto the roof, their arms full of bras.

Though, Doc seemed to have gotten confused on the battle plan and had tried wearing one over his clothes in the hopes that it would help him see the creatures.

However she got here, here she now stood: tossing bras into the crowd with Wynonna to reveal the creatures while Waverly and Doc wiped them out with careful aim. They had no way of knowing how many creatures they were dealing with. For all they knew, they’d barely made a dent in the attacking forces.

Which was extremely unfortunate, as they’d definitely run out of bras.

“We need more bras!!!” Nicole cried as she turned to her girlfriend and quickly spun her around. “Hold still, baby!” Nicole raised the back of Waverly’s shirt, deftly unhooked her bra with one hand, and slipped it off of her in a move that Nicole could only describe as “lesbian magic”.

“Wait, how the FUCK did you do that?!” Wynonna yelled.

“Don’t worry about it!” Nicole yelled back as she took aim into the crowd.

“HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE THAT TO WAVERLY?!?!” Wynonna’s voice had taken on an overprotective edge, her voice becoming uncharacteristically shrill.

“I don’t know, a few I guess!” Nicole shrugged, not really having the time to listen to Wynonna’s “Big Sister” schtick. Why was Wynonna even freaked out about this? She’d walked in on them enough times over the years, surely she’d pieced together that Nicole and Waverly were sleeping together?

“YOU STICK-UP-THE-ASS GINGER WHORE, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY SISTER!!!”

Suddenly, Nicole felt a boot slam into the middle of her back, sending her stumbling forward.

Everything seemed to slow as she watched the ground come into view over the edge of the roof, and she felt her heart leap into her throat as she lost her footing and tumbled headfirst over the edge.

“WYNONNA!!!!!” She screamed in panic as she watched a creature open its mouth wide, its razor-sharp teeth bordering the massive seemingly endless black hole that was its throat.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-“

* * *

“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Nicole screamed in pure terror as she jerked up in the bed, soaked in a panicked sweat and gasping for air.

“Baby? Nicole, are you okay?!” Nicole felt two arms wrap around her shoulders and pull her over until her head was resting against soft skin. The scent of Waverly’s body wash filled her nostrils, and she felt her body instinctively relaxing into the protective hold. Gulping air in her wide mouth and shaking from adrenaline, Nicole clung to Waverly’s shirt and buried her face in her chest, not caring how vulnerable and childlike she probably looked as she curled her body until she was sitting in Waverly’s lap.

“Shhhhhh, it’s okay baby, it’s okay.” Waverly whispered into Nicole’s hair as she rocked the taller woman as best she could, stroking her hair with one hand while her other arm held Nicole tightly against her body. “I’ve got you, you’re safe. It was a dream. Everything’s okay.”

Waverly continued whispering softly as Nicole hiccupped and gasped for breath, determinedly ignoring the tingles in her feet that were starting to crawl up her legs from Nicole’s weight pressing down on her smaller frame. Eventually Nicole seemed to calm, her body slumping further into Waverly’s as the end of the adrenaline rush left her drained and sluggish.

“Hey,” Waverly whispered, pulling back a bit to look at Nicole’s pale face, “hey, you back with me? Do you need me to get you something?”

Nicole swallowed hard and shook her head, her fingers still tangled in Waverly’s shirt. “No. No, just…just stay…”

“Okay, I’m not going anywhere.” Waverly assured as she guided Nicole’s head to her shoulder and started rubbing her back in soothing circles. “Was it the forest again? Bulshar? Oh, honey, were you dreaming about the Garden again?”

“No.” Nicole mumbled into Waverly’s neck. “No, nothing like that. It was…it was weird.”

“Weird? Weird how?” Waverly’s brow furrowed as she craned her neck to look down at the woman curled in her lap. “I thought you were having a nightmare, you haven’t screamed like that in a while, Nic.”

“That’s what she said?” Nicole offered in a shaky attempt to lighten the mood. Waverly snorted a bit before becoming serious once again.

“Seriously, baby, what were you dreaming about? Do you wanna tell me about it?” Waverly gently probed.

“There was…there were these invisible…things. And we were at the Homestead…on the roof…w-we were trying to fight them off…there were so many of them…” Nicole paused to take a breath, trying to recall as much as she could about the dream. “Wynonna and me…we were throwing bras at them and-“

“Wait, what?” Waverly interrupted. “Sorry, you were fighting them with bras?”

“No, the bras helped us see them.” Nicole explained, her curled body starting to relax and uncurl a bit. “Like, if a bra touched them, it made them visible. And then you and Doc shot them.”

“So, you were fighting invisible monsters that turned visible when you hit them with bras?” Waverly clarified, her lips starting to purse together as she fought back a small smile. She really didn’t want Nicole, who was understandably a bit riled and sensitive from the nightmare, to think that she was laughing at her. But God help her, this was starting to sound a little silly.

“Yeah…so, we were throwing bras…and we ran out…so I took yours off and-“

“Wait, sorry, how did you do that? I thought I was shooting the monsters?”

“I just kinda…lifted up your shirt, unhooked your bra and…actually, I’m not sure how I got your bra off…” Nicole trailed off as her brow furrowed in thought.

“What, you just, like, magicked my bra off of me?” Waverly clarified, biting the inside of her cheek. She wouldn’t laugh. She wouldn’t laugh. She wouldn’t laugh…

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Nicole sat up a bit, looking down at her fingers, which were now fiddling with Waverly’s shirt as opposed to clinging it with an iron grip. “Although, I guess I could have just taken Doc’s off-“

“Whoa, whoa, time out! Say that again?!” Waverly was NOT prepared for tonight.

“Oh, yeah, Doc was-he was wearing a bra on his, on his clothes.” Nicole explained. “I think he got confused, you know, and thought that wearing the bra, like, helped you see the monsters.”

Waverly knew that she was half angel. She knew that, objectively speaking, she was partially on a higher plane than human beings.

But she was still part human, and her human side was weak.

“So…Doc was…” Waverly tried to breathe through the urge. She really tried. “He was in a…in a…in a…”

The dam broke, and Waverly dissolved into snorting giggles, her head dropping onto Nicole’s shoulder as her face turned crimson.

“…Are you laughing at me?” Nicole sounded a bit more dazed and incredulous than angry. So…maybe that was a good sign?

“No, no, baby, I’m not, I swear!” Waverly gasped and tried to calm herself as she patted Nicole’s back in a conciliating way. “I’m sorry, I’m not-pfft-I’m not laughing at you! I’m just, that was, oh my God honey, I’m sorry! Just the-snort-the thought of Doc in…in a BRA!”

Waverly dissolved back into giggles and clung to Nicole, trying to convey her love even as she laughed. After a moment, she felt Nicole’s shoulders start to shake as well. Worried, she lifted her head to look at Nicole, scared that she had driven her poor adrenaline-riled girlfriend to tears. To her relief, she saw a blushing Nicole smiling ear-to-ear.

“I guess it was kinda silly…” Nicole admitted, their shared laughter dissipating a lot of the lingering tension.

“Who’s bra was he wearing?” Waverly asked, wiping tears of laughter from her face.

“Ummm…I think it was that red lacy one that you got for our anniversary.”

“Awww, that’s one of my favorites!” Waverly pouted dramatically. “He can’t wear that, he’ll stretch it!”

Nicole snorted. “And I think he was keeping bullets in the cups!”

“Noooo, now it’ll look all lumpy!” Waverly clutched her heart with an exaggeratedly horrified look as Nicole built from giggles to a full-bellied laugh.

* * *

Wynonna stumbled into the kitchen the next morning and found herself anchored in place by piercing brown eyes staring intensely at her from the kitchen table. Nicole was sitting at the table, her eyes locked onto Wynonna and a cup of coffee sitting on the table before her. To anyone else, the intense gaze coming from the Sherriff might have been intimidating and harrowing. But not to Wynonna.

Nope. Definitely not. She totally wasn’t scared of that unwavering glare. Not at all.

“Uh, what’s up guys?” Wynonna asked, trying to ease the tension that hung thick in the kitchen. Wynonna looked around and saw Waverly at the stove, cooking pancakes and humming happily as if there wasn’t a high-noon standoff happening right behind her.

She refocused on Nicole with admittedly some difficulty. Okay, maybe that stare was a bit intimidating…

“You okay there, dude? You’re kinda giving off a red-Haught vibe there, heh.”

Nicole’s face remained impassive.

“…Get it? ‘Cause…’cause you’re a ginger…and your name is…” Wynonna trailed off, now decidedly uncomfortable with whatever confrontation she’d just walked into. “Did, uh…did I do something?”

Never breaking her gaze, Nicole raised her coffee cup, sipped a bit from it, and slowly set it back down on the table.

“…Wynonna, you know me and your sister fuck, right?”

“NICOLE!!!”


End file.
